Mike, 42, and Andy, 39, from Halesowen, started their fostering journey nine years ago and today foster with ISP Fostering in the West Midlands. They are significantly younger than the UK average foster parent age of 54.
The couple has enjoyed fostering without any preconceived parenting ideas, Andy said: “You start from a clean slate, so we believe you’re able to parent in a different way to those who’ve raised children of their own.
“Because we don’t have our own children, we didn’t have any parenting habits or preconceived ideas about what raising foster children would be like. Some parents can find it challenging because foster children have had very different early experiences to their own children, and they have to learn to navigate trauma and complex emotions.”
The couple believes there are a lot of myths surrounding fostering, which might deter younger people from enquiring, Andy said: “Fostering is a way of life, and we see these children as our own, but it's important other people know that you are financially supported when you foster.
“We do a lot of training, learning, and admin while caring for the children around the clock. If you think you couldn't afford to foster, you should still look into it, because that's probably not the case. You can also still go to work and foster at the same time, and you can foster if you happen to rent your home."
Fostering has given Andy and Mike both a family and a career, Mike said: “We both foster full-time now, but we try to keep things separate. We see the admin side of things, like the training and daily logs, as work, but the rest of the time, they're just our children.
"Sometimes it’s really hard, but you don’t give up on your own children. They're part of our family and our life now, they bring so much joy and energy to our lives.”
Andy and Mike foster a teenage girl and boy from different families, and have helped them build a strong sibling bond, Mike said: "The dynamic between the two of them is brilliant. They're just like siblings – they’ll argue, call each other names, and then, the next minute, they’re holding hands around the shopping centre.”
Andy and Mike have worked hard to provide a stable family life for their foster children and believe their role is to help foster children overcome ‘unimaginable circumstances’.
Prior to moving in with them, their foster daughter had seven homes in 12 months but has been with Andy and Mike for five years and was bridesmaid at their wedding. She will stay until she’s at least 18.
There are currently 11,820 children in care in the West Midlands, with more than 2,000 living in Birmingham. Foster parents of all ages are urgently needed.
The lower age limit to foster is 21, and you don't need any prior experience. For more information about fostering in the West Midlands, visit ispfostering.org.uk or call 0800 0857 989.