For retired engineer and HGV driver Jeff, who lives in Foxhill, Sheffield, Bev’s death left a massive void that he feared it would never be possible to fill.
But a phone call from St Luke’s Hospice set him on a new path and gave him the support he needed as he started to rebuild his life.
Bev had been a St Luke’s community patient, receiving support from the St Luke’s team at home as she faced the final stages of her cancer.
“Bev died in the February and it would have been in September that I had a phone call from the St Luke’s Bereavement team,” Jeff says.
“I made an appointment to see Paul, the Bereavement Counsellor and began counselling sessions at St Luke’s Ecclesall Road South and then attending the bereavement support group.
“I don’t think you can go through this on your own - my family were great, a real support, but nobody understands how the grief affects you as opposed to the way it affects them.
“The sense of devastation is enormous after 48 years and it really helped me to be able to talk to my counsellor Emma, who was fantastic.
“I’ll admit I was apprehensive the first time I went to the bereavement group - people were smiling and laughing and it didn’t feel natural to me.
“But one of the chaps suggested I should keep going so that’s what I did - and it really did change everything.
“It makes you realise that everybody else in that room is in a similar situation and everybody understands - there’s always somebody who will listen.
“It’s amazing - you can go in there feeling you’re at rock bottom and walk out with a smile on your face.”
The support extended beyond Ecclesall Road South, though, as the group became a circle of friends with their own network of support who now meet regularly and even go on holidays together.
“I’ve started looking forward to meeting my friends because we’re all the same, we all have bad days - I don’t think that will ever stop - but the other 90 per cent of the time you feel fine because you’ve got a new perspective.
“It’s over two and a half years now since I lost Bev and I have started to realise that I have to look forward.”
As part of that moving on, 72-year-old Jeff recognised that he needed a fresh challenge and that’s when he decided to become a St Luke’s volunteer.
“The announcement about the new St Luke’s department store on the Kilner Way Retail Park came up and I realised it was only ten minutes away so I came down to see the manager, had a chat and started as soon as I could,” he says.
It’s a complete change from anything he ever did in his working life - an average volunteer session might see Jeff doing everything from pricing up vintage vinyl to being on the busy till or sorting clothes and other items ready for sale.
“Whatever needs doing I really don’t mind and I absolutely love it all,” he says.
“I’m normally there from ten till four every Wednesday but if they’re short I’ll fill in an extra couple of days if I’m needed,” he says.
“I really do enjoy volunteering because I feel I am giving something back for the support I received, which was unbelievable and I want other people to be able to have that support too.
“If you look at the time I spent with my counsellors you realise that although it’s a free service, everything has to be paid for and that’s why volunteering is so important to me - I want the support I had to be there for the next person who comes along.
“When I’m here it’s a laugh a minute, they are lovely people and it’s a great place to be, knowing that you are doing something to support a worthwhile cause.
“If anybody asked me about volunteering, I’d say give it a go because there are so many benefits.
“The charity gets a few hours volunteering out of me and I get the satisfaction of giving back and being in an atmosphere of friendship and comradeship.”
To find out more about all St Luke’s volunteer opportunities visit stlukeshospice.org.uk/volunteer