While the pressure to perform academically is normalised, stress levels can sometimes escalate to the point where they interfere with a child’s wellbeing and their ability to focus. Celine Brookes-Smith, Lecturer in Psychology at Arden University, offers practical advice and insights for parents to support their children and minimise stress during this exam season.
Spotting the signs of exam burnout
The first step to helping a child manage exam stress and anxiety is recognising the symptoms early. Stress can manifest both physically and behaviourally, so it’s important to look out for changes that might not always seem immediately obvious. Your child might tell you about these, or you might notice them yourself.
Physical symptoms to keep an eye out for:
- Frequent headaches
- Stomach aches or indigestion
- Disturbed sleep or persistent fatigue
- Heart palpitations or sweating
- Changes in appetite.
Behavioural red flags
Stress can also affect mood and behaviour in ways that are difficult to notice, such as a child appearing more withdrawn or irritable than usual. Parents should watch out for signs such as:
- Reduced interest in social activities
- Reluctance to attend school
- Heightened nervousness, fear or worry
- Increased irritability or frequent frustration
- Signs of low energy or a consistently depressed mood
These behaviours, although often temporary, should serve as an invitation to check in with a child and start an open conversation about their feelings.
Tips for supporting a child
1. Open up the conversation
Navigating the sensitive topic of our mental wellbeing can be challenging. Some children might hesitate to share their feelings, especially if they feel under pressure to perform, or aren’t used to sharing. It’s important parents and caregivers approach the conversation from a place of understanding and avoid judgement.
Rather than guessing what’s wrong, parents and caregivers asking open-ended questions like, “How have you been feeling about your revision?” or “What’s been the most stressful part for you?” and reassuring them that they’re there to help no matter the outcome, can provide a welcome sense of safety and support.
When negativity creeps into the conversation with statements like, “I’m terrible at maths!”, parents should try to challenge these thought patterns with positive reinforcement. Gently reminding them of their strengths and previous successes, can help them to build resilience against self-doubt.
2. Create a stress-friendly routine
A balanced daily routine can help to manage exam stress and encourage a child to build habits that promote wellbeing and mental clarity. These three factors are usually the most important:
- Sleep: Teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep per night, yet exam stress can often disrupt their natural sleep patterns. Encouraging consistent bedtimes and limiting screen use an hour before bed can help improve rest.
- Exercise: Physical activity is a natural stress-reliever. A simple daily walk, yoga session or even time practising their favourite hobby can help release tension and improve focus.
- Balanced diet: Nutrient-rich meals provide the energy students need to stay sharp during long revision sessions. Food to support the brain such as nuts, leafy greens and protein-rich snacks can help maintain energy and concentration.
Exam stress can impede self-control, so suggesting a study schedule that includes regular breaks, for example, a 50-minute study session followed by a 10-minute break, can help keep a child’s mind refresh and be ready to retain information. Remember, exam stress can sometimes cause teenagers to become irritable with parents or siblings. Taking care to balance your own daily routine can help parents have the mental resources to provide support for their child.
3. Manage screen time strategically
While technology can offer innovative ways to revise, like online tutorials or gamified learning tools, excessive screen time - especially on social media - can add unnecessary pressure. Comparing progress with peers online might lower confidence or amplify stress.
Parents can help a child strike a balance by discussing smartphone-free study times with their child. Having said this, technology can be a good tool to support study, too. For example, online platforms like YouTube or TikTok often feature short, engaging videos that explain topics in creative ways, but it’s important to make sure they’re exploring quality content from trusted creators.
Digital planners and apps are also great at helping to manage study schedules, giving students a clear visualisation of what they’ve achieved so far. Parents can also keep an eye on what’s scheduled and when exams are to make sure they're offering support at the right time.
In line with stress-friendly routines, they should remember to balance the use of digital tools with offline study methods to avoid screen fatigue.
4. Make time for breaks and downtime
It’s important to emphasise that taking time away from studying is a productive choice, not slacking off. During breaks, parents can suggest engaging in relaxing or creative activities that allow a child to recharge. This could include activities your child typically enjoys, such as reading, listening to music or baking their favourite treat.
If parents are noticing they’re consistently overwhelmed, they can work with their child to temporarily adjust responsibilities, like reduced household chores, to give them more breathing room.
5. Build a positive mindset
Another way to reduce anxiety and stress is to help a child reframe their thoughts in a constructive way, as this can influence how they approach the exam season. For instance, when they feel overwhelmed, you can remind your child that feeling stressed shows they care about their studies, and help them shift focus onto the progress they’ve made, rather than what still needs to be done.
Practices like mindfulness and positive affirmations can also help calm exam nerves. Guided breathing exercises or short meditations are effective tools for managing pre-exam tension. Resources like mindfulness apps or YouTube videos are freely available, and can make incorporating these habits easy and enjoyable.
Exam stress is a natural reaction, but parents can play a vital role in helping their child manage it with a balanced and mindful approach. By recognising the signs of stress, keeping conversations open and establishing a healthy routine, they can help give their child the tools they need to overcome exam challenges with confidence.
While it’s tempting to try and solve every issue for a child, allowing them to face and manage appropriate challenges with guidance will help them build resilience for the future.
With a parent’s kind support, effective routines and the strategic use of resources, they’ll be ready to tackle their exams head-on, no matter the outcome.