John, 72, found himself struggling following a build-up of personal issues, including his wife having a heart attack, which caused him to feel ‘frightened to go outside and hypervigilant’.
Confused about his negative thoughts and feelings, he reached out to Talking Therapies in North Yorkshire - run by Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys NHS Foundation Trust (TEWV).
John said: “After 72 years on this planet, I never envisaged I would be in the place I found myself in. I just wanted the world to go away and leave me alone.
“I had lots of questions - "Why me? Why this? Why now?". I can only describe this as a dripping tap, never-ending, constantly asking questions with no answers. I tried so hard to silence them."
Talking Therapies can help with common mental health problems such as stress, anxiety, and depression. It is open to anyone aged 16 or over, registered with a GP practice, who is experiencing mild to moderate symptoms of anxiety or depression.
“The hole I was mentally digging was getting deeper; some days, I felt like I was at the bottom of a well and couldn't even see the daylight above me," said John.
“I tried every technique I know after 30-odd years as a psychotherapist. I had some successes lasting a mixture of one minute, one hour, or one day, but I kept on falling back into this hole.
“My family and friends could see I was getting worse; all their kind advice and suggestions only made me feel worse.”
John filled in a questionnaire on the NHS North Yorkshire Talking Therapies website about his mental health, and was self-referred into the service.
He said: “It is OK to be scared or doubtful. I know I was.
“My first step was to admit that I had a problem and was not dealing with it very well and needed help.
“Before I self-referred into Talking Therapies, I filled in an online questionnaire about PTSD. The maximum score you could get was 52 and I got 48. It was from this I realised I genuinely needed help.
“I thought “this is why I’m not cracking it myself” and it was because I wasn’t getting deep enough, and I know you sometimes can’t get deep enough on your own.
“Filling in the questionnaire on the NHS Talking Therapies website was a life-changing decision. Looking back, I am so grateful I did ask for help.
“The Talking Therapies team allowed me to overcome my initial fear and doubt that I could get my life back on track. I never once felt judged for sharing; I always felt that my therapist only wanted the best for me.
“From filling in the form to the initial assessment phone calls, the compassion, respect and professionalism the Talking Therapies team showed allowed me to feel safe and supported. I genuinely believe my therapist is one extraordinary person, and I will keep them in a special place in my heart forever.
“As you read this, if I could wish one thing for you, it would be to reach out to the Talking Therapies team. Life is too short to live with the ‘why me? why this? why now?' questions never being answered; they are dedicated, caring professionals willing to help and support you through your emotional journey.
“My relationship with myself, my wife, and my family has changed so much for the better in making that first step.
“In life, we cannot control the wind that blows. However, we can maintain the setting of our sail. The same wind blows on us all, the winds of disaster, opportunity, and change.
“Therefore, it is not the blowing of the wind but the setting of the sails that will determine our direction in life. I would love for you to reach out to the Talking Therapies Team so that with their help, you can set sail for a better, more rewarding life.
“Embrace the help on offer and embrace the journey.”
Mental health difficulties can affect us at any age, but half of adults aged over 55 have experienced common mental health problems such as anxiety or depression.
Things like low mood, stress, worry, anxiety, loss of interest in enjoyed activities, poor sleep or feeling hopeless can all be dismissed as a normal part of aging. Whilst these are common experiences, there is treatment to make them more manageable.
This Mental Health Awareness Week, if you know someone struggling with low mood, stress, worry or anxiety, let them know about NHS Talking Therapies.
- Talking Therapies is a service provided by TEWV, who provide mental health and learning disability services in County Durham and Darlington, Teesside, North Yorkshire and York and Selby.
- Treatments and therapies vary according to individual needs, but may include face-to-face or virtual wellbeing sessions, or computerised cognitive behavioural therapy.
- To find out more, visit https://www.tewv.nhs.uk/.../talking-therapies-for-adults.../, or if you feel more comfortable you can talk to your GP.